Ramona Riley

Ramona Riley
The Tailor Consultant

Monday, March 8, 2010

Singldom. What’s Love Got To Do With It? Transitioning from Singledom to Entrepreneurial Marriage

When I began thinking in terms of starting my own business, I researched everything I could on competitors, market, clients to be targeted and so on and so forth. However, it was not until much later in the process that I stopped and reevaluated my steps, progress, and revenues, then I realized that I was in business but I wasn’t producing much. Reevaluating my onion and removing the necessary peels to get to the core of my issue, I realized that I was only one person and I didn’t have enough hands to diagnose and solve every problem. Therefore, I had to reorganize and structure my business based on the end result of what its intended purpose entailed. Thus, we envisioned our company’s success and then worked our way back to where we were to implement a plan of alignment toward the vision.
I had to learn to look at the organization from several different perspectives in order to think, process and walk in successful paths. My mindset often delayed things for me because I often looked at things from a ‘when I get there’ perspective rather than a perspective of already being there. In other words, being in business reminded me of a time during adulthood when I was single and desiring to be married. When I thought about that whole experience of becoming a woman, I began to look at my business quite differently. For example, as an entrepreneur, I sought clients and looked at every person as a possible client evaluating them on what they brought to the table and how I could change them. When I was single, I looked at every man as possible husband material evaluating them on their capabilities as well as their possibilities. In the end, this was the wrong approach for me because; I had not fully come to the realization of what I had on hand and what my full potential resembled.
You see, before I was married, the issues I faced during my days of singledom consisted of the following:
• All my friends were married and had started expanding their families;
• Desiring to be in a committed relationship so that I could show my value as a person;
• Overestimating my abilities and readiness to be in a long-term committed relationship;
• Fear of making the wrong decision about my prospective husband and future plans of health, wealth, and family; and finally,
• Determining my purpose in the relationship and how I was able to effectively contribute.
These same issues crept back into my life as a business owner. Remember being young and single and wanting more than anything to get married. As an entrepreneur, the desire for a small business owner is to have a big client able to afford your services, value your work, and join into a long-term committed relationship. It’s not so different when you look at the situations. Thus, what I learned during singledom was that my time being alone was to determine the deep things motivating me to become focused, confident, and determined to accomplish marriage as well as many other facets of life (e.g., children, in-laws, extended family). I never thought the experience of singledom would ever reoccur in my life; however, after becoming an entrepreneur, I discovered how wonderfully fortunate I was to actually have the situation reoccur. You see, the wonderful thing about life is that we are to take our experiences and not allow them to get the best of us but rather get the best of them. Each opportunity is an opportunity to learn something and put things into perspective for building up and/or building on lessons to correct the current paths in order to have a better view of actualization. Looking at my business, business ventures, goals, and vision in a way which relates to the fundamentals of life allowed me to take one step at a time in understanding that one step at a time was the best I will do. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous issues, situations, and burdens that we all face; however, the one determining factor often missed is the reason for going and growing through things. Sometimes determining the reason requires reflection, tracing, and having an offensive mindset to pursue answers.
Twelve years later, I am able to view my experience and exposure of singledom in a way which manifests results as an entrepreneur. What I was supposed to have learned as a single lady desiring wedded bliss is exactly what I must recall and reuse as an entrepreneur desiring clients. This quiet time when the clients are few and far between, I cannot get distracted into thinking that maybe proprietorship is not for me but rather what else must be accomplished because it is exactly the right business for me. Some of my colleagues have not had to experience the downtime. In fact, some of my colleagues have scored big ticket clients right from the start. On the contrary, there are those who have not had a quick and easy time of getting clients. It’s very similar to girlfriends who were proposed to and married right after college. The focus need not be on what the other girls were doing but more so on what you do and what makes what you do so wonderful that people cannot do without it. Or more simply, “Why can your business plan work?” Being alone and single was not the end of the world. As a matter of fact it was quite a beneficial time because I was able to explore and experience things important to me. In other words, I could spend as much time as I wanted on specific things without distractions.
At the time when clients are few, rather than moving forward without a plan, it is necessary for me to have a game plan for setting the business up in a way that evokes success. In other words, formulate a plan of action that is in alignment with the purpose of your business pursuits to bring results. Examples would be as follows:
• You are in business for a reason; therefore, minor setbacks of too few clients should not be a deterrent or decision maker to close the operation.
• Define the specific audience to benefit from the goods and services you provide to and your value proposition.
• Look for issues experienced in your field of expertise and determine a solution that is win-win for consumer/sellers.
• Refine, rework, start anew, refresh, walk away and return later to remedies that your business may provide.
• Look at your business model from the front, back, left, right, four corners, consumer, seller, employee, administrative, leadership, and family perspective.
• Establishing a well constructed and established plan through your own business is a personal remedy that consumers are interested in pursuing because not only will you have the experience to know and own your communication, you will take pride in doing what you love doing for others.
• Understand that your own passion for success is the experience and exposure of what others in the business arena desire because they are also interested in committed long-term relationships for expansion, community service, economic development, and family.
• Believe that you will earn the money that you aspire to make and possibly exceed your own expectations but redirect your focus on being in it for the long-term rather than just for the day or right now.
Since graduating from singledom to marriage, I now understand that time was needed for me to internally reflect and commit to my own purpose and pursuits. It was a time which manifested growth and development. Once marriage was achieved, my perspective was expanded to think of not only myself but my family; therefore, my perspective quickly grew to incorporate decisions concerning all things Riley. It’s the same for the entrepreneurial spirit – understanding that sometimes, things are quiet because I needed to embrace where I was and listen as well as plan for new ventures or segments of operation needing to be refined for the client needing my services. There is someone out there for each of us; therefore, there are enough businesses to offer my services to because in the end, we are all looking for the same thing – value in a relationship.
For me, singledom was a very interesting period of my life. Nine years after graduating from college I joined forces and united with my husband. We have been married twelve years this year (2010) and we take the days one-by-one. As for my business, we have been established for three years and we take the slow as well as the fast times day-by-day.
When I began thinking in terms of starting my own business, I researched everything I could on competitors, market, clients to be targeted and so on and so forth. However, it was not until much later in the process that I stopped and reevaluated my steps, progress, and revenues, then I realized that I was in business but I wasn’t producing much. Reevaluating my onion and removing the necessary peels to get to the core of my issue, I realized that I was only one person and I didn’t have enough hands to diagnose and solve every problem. Therefore, I had to reorganize and structure my business based on the end result of what its intended purpose entailed. Thus, we envisioned our company’s success and then worked our way back to where we were to implement a plan of alignment toward the vision.
I had to learn to look at the organization from several different perspectives in order to think, process and walk in successful paths. My mindset often delayed things for me because I often looked at things from a ‘when I get there’ perspective rather than a perspective of already being there. In other words, being in business reminded me of a time during adulthood when I was single and desiring to be married. When I thought about that whole experience of becoming a woman, I began to look at my business quite differently. For example, as an entrepreneur, I sought clients and looked at every person as a possible client evaluating them on what they brought to the table and how I could change them. When I was single, I looked at every man as possible husband material evaluating them on their capabilities as well as their possibilities. In the end, this was the wrong approach for me because; I had not fully come to the realization of what I had on hand and what my full potential resembled.
You see, before I was married, the issues I faced during my days of singledom consisted of the following:
• All my friends were married and had started expanding their families;
• Desiring to be in a committed relationship so that I could show my value as a person;
• Overestimating my abilities and readiness to be in a long-term committed relationship;
• Fear of making the wrong decision about my prospective husband and future plans of health, wealth, and family; and finally,
• Determining my purpose in the relationship and how I was able to effectively contribute.
These same issues crept back into my life as a business owner. Remember being young and single and wanting more than anything to get married. As an entrepreneur, the desire for a small business owner is to have a big client able to afford your services, value your work, and join into a long-term committed relationship. It’s not so different when you look at the situations. Thus, what I learned during singledom was that my time being alone was to determine the deep things motivating me to become focused, confident, and determined to accomplish marriage as well as many other facets of life (e.g., children, in-laws, extended family). I never thought the experience of singledom would ever reoccur in my life; however, after becoming an entrepreneur, I discovered how wonderfully fortunate I was to actually have the situation reoccur. You see, the wonderful thing about life is that we are to take our experiences and not allow them to get the best of us but rather get the best of them. Each opportunity is an opportunity to learn something and put things into perspective for building up and/or building on lessons to correct the current paths in order to have a better view of actualization. Looking at my business, business ventures, goals, and vision in a way which relates to the fundamentals of life allowed me to take one step at a time in understanding that one step at a time was the best I will do. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous issues, situations, and burdens that we all face; however, the one determining factor often missed is the reason for going and growing through things. Sometimes determining the reason requires reflection, tracing, and having an offensive mindset to pursue answers.
Twelve years later, I am able to view my experience and exposure of singledom in a way which manifests results as an entrepreneur. What I was supposed to have learned as a single lady desiring wedded bliss is exactly what I must recall and reuse as an entrepreneur desiring clients. This quiet time when the clients are few and far between, I cannot get distracted into thinking that maybe proprietorship is not for me but rather what else must be accomplished because it is exactly the right business for me. Some of my colleagues have not had to experience the downtime. In fact, some of my colleagues have scored big ticket clients right from the start. On the contrary, there are those who have not had a quick and easy time of getting clients. It’s very similar to girlfriends who were proposed to and married right after college. The focus need not be on what the other girls were doing but more so on what you do and what makes what you do so wonderful that people cannot do without it. Or more simply, “Why can your business plan work?” Being alone and single was not the end of the world. As a matter of fact it was quite a beneficial time because I was able to explore and experience things important to me. In other words, I could spend as much time as I wanted on specific things without distractions.
At the time when clients are few, rather than moving forward without a plan, it is necessary for me to have a game plan for setting the business up in a way that evokes success. In other words, formulate a plan of action that is in alignment with the purpose of your business pursuits to bring results. Examples would be as follows:
• You are in business for a reason; therefore, minor setbacks of too few clients should not be a deterrent or decision maker to close the operation.
• Define the specific audience to benefit from the goods and services you provide to and your value proposition.
• Look for issues experienced in your field of expertise and determine a solution that is win-win for consumer/sellers.
• Refine, rework, start anew, refresh, walk away and return later to remedies that your business may provide.
• Look at your business model from the front, back, left, right, four corners, consumer, seller, employee, administrative, leadership, and family perspective.
• Establishing a well constructed and established plan through your own business is a personal remedy that consumers are interested in pursuing because not only will you have the experience to know and own your communication, you will take pride in doing what you love doing for others.
• Understand that your own passion for success is the experience and exposure of what others in the business arena desire because they are also interested in committed long-term relationships for expansion, community service, economic development, and family.
• Believe that you will earn the money that you aspire to make and possibly exceed your own expectations but redirect your focus on being in it for the long-term rather than just for the day or right now.
Since graduating from singledom to marriage, I now understand that time was needed for me to internally reflect and commit to my own purpose and pursuits. It was a time which manifested growth and development. Once marriage was achieved, my perspective was expanded to think of not only myself but my family; therefore, my perspective quickly grew to incorporate decisions concerning all things Riley. It’s the same for the entrepreneurial spirit – understanding that sometimes, things are quiet because I needed to embrace where I was and listen as well as plan for new ventures or segments of operation needing to be refined for the client needing my services. There is someone out there for each of us; therefore, there are enough businesses to offer my services to because in the end, we are all looking for the same thing – value in a relationship.
For me, singledom was a very interesting period of my life. Nine years after graduating from college I joined forces and united with my husband. We have been married twelve years this year (2010) and we take the days one-by-one. As for my business, we have been established for three years and we take the slow as well as the fast times day-by-day.

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